Saturday, December 6, 2025

Doesn't Hurt to Ask

 

2020 BOOK-OF-THE-YEAR
(2 books for 2020!)

Issue No. 450 of Your Weekly Staff Meeting (Oct. 13, 2020) 
features a definite nominee for my 2020 book-of-the-year honors. In this eNews, I’m going to persuade you to read Trey Gowdy’s new book on persuasion. (See how I did that?) And this reminder: click here to download free resources from the 20 management buckets (core competencies).


Master Your Favorite Persuasion Tool

Trey Gowdy, who served eight years in Congress (2011-2019), confesses, “The mistakes made early in my career were many and largely rooted in two areas: not understanding the dynamics of persuasion and not understanding the nature and characteristics of those I was try to persuade.”

I thought I knew a thing or two about persuasion—because I’ve been “persuading” people my entire life (or so I thought): family, friends, staff members, board chairs, board members, donors, clients, airline check-in desks (any upgrades?), and more. 

Yikes! Then I read Trey Gowdy’s hot-off-the-press book, Doesn't Hurt to Ask: Using the Power of Questions to Communicate, Connect, and Persuade. Apparently, I’ve been arguing, imposing my will, machine-gunning facts, interrupting, and worse—but not persuading!
 
Now I realize…I knew nothing about persuasion—but, gratefully, Trey Gowdy’s graduate level course in the precise practice of persuasion has seriously inspired me! I predict his book will dramatically change your thinking about how you persuade others. It’s already changed my thinking. Gowdy’s book has some very stiff competition, but it just might be my 2020 book-of-the-year—it’s that good.

Practice Makes Persuasion. As a former state and federal prosecutor, Trey Gowdy noted that his young litigators “needed two things: confidence and practice. We didn’t start in the courtroom. We started in the conference room. I would have them stand up and convince me to go see their favorite movie. That was the challenge—convince me that your favorite movie is worth my time.” (Try that at your weekly staff meeting—and then inspire your team to read Gowdy’s book.)

Divert and Deflect. In the section, “Plan and Prepare for Your Strengths and Weaknesses,” Gowdy urges you to spend serious prep time on the topic, “What do you least want to be asked yourself?” When stuck, Gowdy’s Plan B is to ask “unusual questions that divert and deflect.” 

If it’s still not going well, he employs two tricks—but he warns: “They are both extreme.” The first trick: silence. “Silence is the greatest attention grabber in the world.” This one powerful paragraph will come in handy soon, I’m sure! “Learn the timing of silence—longer than a breath but not long enough that others think it’s a nap.”

The second trick: filibuster. “We are taught not to interrupt. We are taught to listen.” But he adds, “The most difficult witness to examine in Congress and in courtrooms are those witnesses who . . . simply . . . will . . . not . . . stop talking. Juries do not like rude people who interrupt and they certainly do not like to be interrupted.”

Master Your Favorite Persuasion Tool. After detailing dozens of that’s-a-great-idea persuasion tools and techniques—generously illustrated with memorable stories inside Congress and the courtroom—Trey Gowdy concludes with this:

“Just as you should identify your best communications gift, you should also identify your favorite persuasion tool. Which of the tools we have discussed would you enjoy most being highly skilled at? Which one could you see yourself mastering?”

Oh…If I Could Only Replay My Videotape! While genuinely inspired about mastering my favorite persuasion tools—the book brought to mind my inept persuasion performances in at least 10 real-life situations. Arrrgh! If Gowdy had only written this book 20 years sooner! For practice, I’m replaying those videos in my mind—and I’m using “the power of questions” to move those emotional situations to a better outcome. Fortunately, I don’t have to persuade Our Holy God to shower me with grace. He’s already done that.

10 FAVORITES. This was tough—picking just 10 persuasive points:
#1. Favorite chapter: “There Is Such a Thing as a Stupid Question.” (Hilarious!)
#2. Favorite mentor: The mother of Trey Gowdy’s childhood best friend. In just 30 minutes with a stunning use of questions—she helped Gowdy change the trajectory of his post-college plans and his life. (Did I mention—stunning!)
#3. Favorite courtroom scene: When Gowdy repeatedly asked a one-eyed witness, “Okay, what color was the blue bag?” (You’ll LOL along with the entire courtroom!)
#4. Favorite insight: “Stupid questions are better than stupid answers.” He adds, “It’s the difference between sounding stupid and being stupid.”
#5. Favorite license plate: US SENATOR 2. Why did Gowdy’s close friend, Sen. Tim Scott, choose that South Carolina license plate? “Trey, I was stopped [by police] seven times in one year as an elected official. Seven. I want the officers to know I am not a threat to them so nothing bad happens to me. I want to be safe, Trey, and stay alive.”
#6. Favorite axiom: “The most persuasive are the persuadable.” (Convicting!)
#7. Favorite contrasts: “Persuasion is not debating.” And, “Debating is science. Persuasion is art.” And, “Debating is for the best talker. Persuasion is for the better listener.”
#8. Favorite definition: Chapter 5, “The Burden of Proof Is in the Pudding.” The scale of burden of proof—absolutely fascinating: “Consent (0%), Articulable Suspicion (20-25%), Probable Cause (35-50%), Preponderance (50.1%), Clear and Convincing (75%), Beyond a Reasonable Doubt (95%), Beyond All Doubt (Ha! Impossible.)”
#9. Favorite short course on questioning: Brilliant explanations and examples of Leading Questions and Non-Leading Questions—and when to use them. (This reminded me of the AWE question in The Advice Trap.)
#10. Favorite impeachment insights (three categories of impeachment): Impeach the facts, impeach the conclusion, or impeach the person. (See chapter nine.)

Persuasive, Not Political. Although Trey Gowdy interjects numerous stories from the House committees he served on (or chaired), including Judiciary, Oversight, Intelligence, and the Select Committee on Benghazi, this book is not political—it’s persuasive, in the same way Rumsfeld’s Rules is not political. 

Did I mention this might be my 2020 book-of-the-year? Enjoy! And thanks to Dick Daniels and Jason Pearson for recommending the book. (Jason’s a big fan of the audio version, narrated by Trey Gowdy—especially the courtroom scenes.)

To order from Amazon, click on the title for Doesn't Hurt to Ask: Using the Power of Questions to Communicate, Connect, and Persuade, by Trey Gowdy. Are you a listener? Listen to the book on Libro.fm (8 hours, 52 minutes), narrated by Trey Gowdy.



SEARCH YOUTUBE: “Trey Gowdy, Power of Persuasion.” Check out the Q&A videos on YouTube featuring interviews with Trey Gowdy, including this Q&A with the Commonwealth Club (Sept. 2, 2020). And watch his persuasion approach at a pre-Fourth of July Sunday talk at Second Baptist Church, Houston (June 28, 2020). Learn why Gowdy drove two nuns from Washington, D.C. to Charlotte, N.C.!


Click here to watch this Q&A on persuasion with Trey Gowdy.
  
YOUR WEEKLY STAFF MEETING QUESTIONS:
1) Trey Gowdy overcame his fear of public speaking by understanding that “there is no such thing as ‘public speaking’ because there is no such thing as ‘public listening.’” Because people process info individually—just focus, he says, on one person or one camera—whether it’s five in the room or 15,000. “Furthermore,” he writes, “most people are forgiving and will overlook (or flat out miss) mistakes.” When is the last time you’ve read a book on persuasion and effective communication? Is it time for a refresher?
2) Trey Gowdy sets the courtroom scene in Chapter 16, “How Do You Know If You’ve Got It?” Before you read his poignant closing argument to the jury in a death penalty case, he challenges readers: “Make your closing argument.” Powerful—and what a memorable weekly staff meeting you could facilitate around this “Dateline” setting. Try it! 
 





Mastering “Cultures of Connection”
Insights from Mastering the Management Buckets Workbook 

The core competency in the Culture Bucket affirms, “We strive to create a corporate culture with core values that are crystal clear. We yearn for a God-honoring workplace where grace and trust are alive and well.”

This past weekend on Fox NFL Sunday, Michael Strahan, the popular analyst and Hall of Fame member who played his entire 15-year pro football career with the New York Giants—made a startling statement. Discussing his coach, Tom Coughlin, Strahan said it wasn’t until Coughlin began connecting with his players—off the field—that the team took shape and went on to win Super Bowl XLII over the New England Patriots in 2007—Strahan’s final season.
 
It reminded me of the book by another Michael S., Connection Culture: The Competitive Advantage of Shared Identity, Empathy, and Understanding at Work, by Michael Lee Stallard, Jason Pankau, and Katharine P. Stallard. Click here to read my 2015 review. I noted that Duke University’s Mike Krzyzewski (“Coach K”) would agree that he was clueless about the power of connection—until his “Aha!” moment with his wife and three daughters around the family dinner table.
 
Good News! The revised, second edition of Connection Culture was published last month—and just in time! As you address the COVID-19 ripple effect, this book is needed now more than ever. The updates include additional insights and examples from organizations and companies that have mastered “cultures of connection.”

When you press “END” after your next Zoom call, reflect on Michael Stallard’s warning: “Employees who feel regularly left out, lonely, or out of the loop are not going to be able to do their best work and may not wish to.” Yikes! 

To order the revised edition from Amazon, click on the title for Connection Culture: The Competitive Advantage of Shared Identity, Empathy, and Understanding at Work (Second Edition), by Michael Lee Stallard, Todd W. Hall, Katharine P. Stallard, and Jason Pankau. (And thanks to the publisher for providing a review copy.)
  


               


  

JASON PEARSON: UNEXPECTED CREATIVE
.
 In his chapter on “Repetition, Repetition, Repetition,” Trey Gowdy writes about advertising’s “Rule of Seven” and the power of “effective frequency.” For help on crafting a communication plan that leverages repetition, contact Jason Pearson at Pearpod Media (branding, digital, print, and video). 

MORE LESSONS: Effectiveness, Excellence, Elephants!
Click here 
to order More Lessons From the Nonprofit Boardroom, by Dan Busby and John Pearson. Click here to follow the new blog with 40 guest bloggers.

MORE RESOURCES:
• Blog: Pails in Comparison
• Subscribe: Your Weekly Staff Meeting eNews
• John's book reviews: on Amazon 
• Website: Management Buckets
• Blog: Governance of Christ-Centered Organizations

DEAR JOHN: Books, Board Chairs, and Boredom
If “Dear Abby” is unable to answer your board questions, ask “Dear John” here at the ECFA Governance of Christ-Centered Organizations blog.

Note: This is the NEW location for John Pearson's Buckets Blog. Slowly (!), the previous 650+ blogs posted (between 2006 and 2025) will gradually populate this blogsite, along with new book reviews each month

The Advice Trap

 

Your Weekly Staff Meeting | John Pearson Associates
2020 BOOK-OF-THE-YEAR
(2 books this year!)

Issue No. 432 of Your Weekly Staff Meeting (March 26, 2020) 
recommends the perfect coaching book for leading your team from home—and why you must tame the Advice Monster! It’s top-of-my-list, so far, for 2020 book-of-the-year. And this reminder: click here to download free resources from the 20 management buckets (core competencies).
 



Tame Your Advice Monster! 

Hello. My name is John and I’m an Advice Monster. Yikes! If you’ve got the guts to read this book, you won’t come out unscathed.

Yikes! Once again, I apologize to the hundreds of colleagues I worked with over the years (especially direct reports). Had I read this book during my CEO years, I coulda/woulda been a more effective (and healthier) CEO. So, so sorry.

And even though the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The good news: the second best time to plant a tree is today.

And one more Yikes! Another superbly incredible book will have to pop out in 2020 to dethrone The Advice Trap from being named my book-of-the-year—it’s phenomenal.

Michael Bungay Stanier says “Your job is to make your coaching an everyday interaction.” He quotes a colleague, “Coaching is no longer an event. It’s a way of being with each other.” And get this: “Coaching is no longer a one-off, occasional, ‘come into my office so I can coach you’ way of managing someone.” 

During this current COVID-19 crisis (and the next crisis, and the next crisis…), The Advice Trap is absolutely the first book you and your team should read. Now. Today. The author’s coaching principles are easy-to-remember:
   1. Be Lazy (“…about jumping in and solving other people’s problems for them Just stop it!”)
   2. Be Curious (Tame your Advice Monster by “staying curious and managing the process of the conversation.” This is the essential principle.)
   3. Be Often (You can be more coach-like outside of the “hierarchical, formal event.” Think meetings, phone calls, Zoom calls, email—all forms of communication.)

Whew! Perfect timing! While huge numbers of team members are working from their homes during this COVID-19 crisis, this book says you can be more coach-like today. And curiosity is a big key. He quotes Dorothy Parker (and three cheers for all of the full-page easy-reading quotes in this gem):
“THE CURE FOR BOREDOM IS CURIOSITY.
THERE IS NO CURE FOR CURIOSITY.”

In my 2016 review of The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever, I shared a personal experience with Michael Bungay Stanier’s “AWE” Question (“And What Else?”). The big idea: keep asking the AWE question until the person you’re coaching fesses up to the real challenge. It was powerful—and the four-minute exercise was a conversion experience! (Read my review.)

Pick One. Michael Bungay Stanier says “Your job is to stop seeking the solutions and start finding the challenges.” He adds, “You can be known as the person who helps articulate the critical issue or as the person who provides hasty answers to solve the wrong problem. Which would you prefer? Exactly.”

How? “From now on, frame your role as helping to find the real challenge. What this really means is being relentless: staying curious long enough to allow the other person to create the insight and space to reach the heart of the matter.”


View this 14-minute TEDx Talk, “How to Tame Your Advice Monster,” by Michael Bungay Stanier
(March 13, 2020). It’s meaty, funny, and might be your best use of 14 minutes this week!


Since reading this book, I’ve used the practical tools and phrases six times. A caller wanted my advice (Yeah!), but I resisted giving advice and instead dug deeper for the real challenge (very hard, but very satisfying). Over several evenings, I made the mistake of reading 20-30 probing and hilarious paragraphs to my wife, Joanne. She now throws the “Advice Monster” phrase back at me. Yikes! 

Even my email responses are shorter. “Joe, so sorry, but I just read The Advice Trap, and taking it to heart by asking YOU questions and NOT giving advice. Sorry!!!” (See pages 150-152 for ways to graciously and effectively respond to those long, rambling emails. Worth the price of 20 books!) I just shipped the book to a client and will recommend The Advice Trap on a webinar next week.

If you’re still thinking you’re a great coach—and this would be a great book for everyone else—check out page 43, the “Mix ‘n’ Match Advice Monster Table.” The author says “you can’t tame your Advice Monster until you know what sets it off." There are 12 types of people who activate your monster persona (pick one!)—coupled with 12 situations (pick one!). 
   • My deadly combination: someone who asks me for advice—paired with a “time is short” situation.
   • Yours might be: someone who challenges you—coupled with “they keep making mistakes.” 
Remember my “unscathed” comment? Caution: Scathing Ahead!

Oh, my. There’s so much more meat—delivered with wit and wry wordsmithing. The layout, the end-of-chapter questions, the abundant resources. So stunningly fun to read! I’ll end with these teasers:
   • Most of your people are working very hard on the wrong problem. You can fix this. (See the “Practice Masterclass” options and abundant online resources.)
   • The “Advice-Giving Habit” (AGH!) “generates waste, leaches innovation, and reduces the capacity to scale for success.” (Understand “Easy Change vs. Hard Change.")
   • Advice Monsters come in three packages: Tell-It, Save-It (the rescuers), and Control-It (Yikes. He writes about me!).
   • There are “prizes” and “punishments” with each style. (My style: “I protect us from chaos.”)
   • In “A Bonus Bonanza of Extra Goodness” resource section, the author tweaked my curiosity (he’s good!) with a HBR article about “chaos pilots.” (Wow—we need chaos pilots more than ever! Yes or No?)
   • And this quote: “Hire for intellectual curiosity.” Per Liz Wiseman, “Intellectual curiosity is the stem cell of good leadership behaviors.”

To order from Amazon, click on the title for The Advice Trap: Be Humble, Stay Curious & Change the Way You Lead Forever, by Michael Bungay Stanier.

 

Reminder! Delegate your reading! Ask a team member to also read and report on The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever, by Michael Bungay Stanier. To listen to the audio version (3 hours, 10 minutes), visit Libro.fm

YOUR WEEKLY STAFF MEETING QUESTIONS:
1) You’ll find dozens and dozens of practical ideas for being more coach-like, such as “Place the seven questions from The Coaching Habit near your keyboard. Set yourself the goal of asking at least one of them before you fire off advice, opinions, and suggestions. Maybe even ask two." OK, team! I have a Starbucks card for the first five people who text me that you have done this!
2) The author quotes Peter Drucker, “The leaders of the future will know how to ask.” So how will you tame your Advice Monster—and move from telling to asking?
 




1:1 Weekly Meetings: Scrap the Agenda!
Insights from Mastering the Management Buckets Workbook 

Yikes! Michael Bungay Stanier has a radical idea for my Meetings Bucket, Chapter 20, in Mastering the Management Buckets. Whether in person or on a Zoom call, he urges us to flip the script: 

“Let’s face it, the standard weekly one-on-one meeting can be a dispiriting experience. It can easily become a ritualized reporting that, honestly, bores both sides of the conversation. You want to know what they’re up to…kind of. They want to reassure you that all’s OK and that they’re a good person who’s working hard, but they don’t love the 'prove it!' nature of the conversation." 

Instead, the author says a “coach-like approach can revitalize the experience. Cast aside the standard agenda that’s part of why the meeting feels stuck, and open with ‘What’s on your mind?’” Read more on pages 152-153 and don’t miss this acid test: “See how long you can go in this meeting before you have to share an idea or an opinion.” 

Click here for more resources from The Meetings Bucket, including the template, “Weekly Update to My Supervisor”—needed now more than ever during these work-at-home days. This tool pushes need-to-know info into the pre-meeting report, saving you time in the meeting for being more coach-like!

 



               


  

JASON PEARSON: UNEXPECTED CREATIVE
.
 Many times…your breakthrough will come from an outside set of eyes and ears—and one or two powerful and probing questions. Check out the innovative work from Jason Pearson at Pearpod Media (branding, digital, print, and video), including the new book by Jason Pearson and Doug Fields, 
THIS. 52 Ways to Share Your World With Those You Love. (Read John’s review here.)
 

MORE LESSONS: Effectiveness, Excellence, Elephants!
Click here 
to order More Lessons From the Nonprofit Boardroom, by Dan Busby and John Pearson. Click here to follow the new blog with 40 guest bloggers.

MORE RESOURCES:
• Blog: Pails in Comparison
• Subscribe: Your Weekly Staff Meeting eNews
• John's book reviews: on Amazon 
• Website: Management Buckets
• Blog: Governance of Christ-Centered Organizations


ECFA Tools and Templates Blog
Click here to access the index and links to John's blog series on 22 downloadable tools and templates for effective board governance, including his commentary on Tool #22, "A Quick and Courteous Way to Give Every Board Member a Voice."

Note: This is the NEW location for John Pearson's Buckets Blog. Slowly (!), the previous 650+ blogs posted (between 2006 and 2025) will gradually populate this blogsite, along with new book reviews each month

Friday, December 5, 2025

Leadership Core

 

2021 BOOK-OF-THE-YEAR
(2 books for 2021!)

Issue No. 460 of Your Weekly Staff Meeting (Jan. 15, 2021) 
features a comprehensive and convicting book on how to blend competence, character, and capacity. Might be my 2021 book-of-the-year! And this reminder: click here to download free resources from the 20 management buckets (core competencies).

According to “The Iceberg of Ignorance,” just 4% of problems are known to executives,
while 74% of problems are known to team leaders.
 

Dick Daniels Has Been in Your Staff Meetings!

Dick Daniels has an uncanny understanding of our organizations. How did he listen in on our staff meetings, our one-on-one performance reviews, our job interviews, our office gossip, and our board meetings? Yikes! 

I’m out on a limb here, but not really. Leadership Core: Character, Competence, Capacity will likely be my 2021 book-of-the-year. It will take a phenomenal book to jostle this pick off its perch. Hot-off-the-press this week, this comprehensive and convicting masterpiece spotlights seven “leadership multipliers” with three strategies for building your leadership culture.

While most authors and leadership gurus focus on competence (and only punctuate the discussion with a P.S. about character), Dick Daniels convinces you that the high bar of competence must also be blended with serious attention to both character and capacity.

He warns, “When organizational culture only values the bottom line, three things result: (1) Leadership Competency is rewarded, (2) Leadership Character is assumed, and (3) Leadership Capacity is never fully realized.”

Are you thinking you don’t have time to go deep in 2021? Another warning: “Every leader will face at least one impossible situation during their leadership tenure. That time is described as having your back against the wall, with no way out, completely alone, and the feeling of gloom you have when it seems like the end is near.” (Don’t despair: Dick Daniels has deep insights and wisdom for you.)

Similar in format to his 2015 book, Leadership Briefs: Shaping Organizational Culture to Stretch Leadership Capacity (my pick for 2015 book-of-the-year), this powerful 2021 resource features 42 short chapters (just three to four pages each)—perfect for your weekly staff meetings. That is, if you still need a weekly staff meeting! (Read Chapter 27, “A Meeting Rhythm: Communicating With Clarity and Consistency.”) 

Daniels notes, “The consensus about meetings from almost everyone is that you have too many and they are the biggest time waster in your workday.” He adds, “Meetings don’t need to be monthly or weekly or an entire hour.”

Here’s what’s so uncanny about Dick Daniels. You could ask me to address the problem of “Hierarchical Elitism: When Leaders Don’t Model the Way” (Chapter 10). No problem. I would list three or four solid guidelines. You could too. But ask Dick Daniels the same question and he delivers “Nine Pecking Order Rules of Grace for Senior Leaders,” including “In all social encounters, ask twice as much as you tell. Be an includer who knows how to interrupt the dominators so you can pull in the quieter introverts who won’t fight for equal airtime.”  (Where does he get this good stuff? It’s off-the-chart insightful—and packaged brilliantly.)

Oh, my. When the book arrived, I checked 24 of the 42 chapter titles that intrigued me. Could you do a 10-minute talk on these topics—without preparation?

PART ONE: Core Character
#1. The Johari Window 360: Blind Spots
#4. Failure: Where Character Is Forged
#8. A Civil Workplace: Ten Culture-Climate Questions
#12. Blindsided: The Toxic Team Member

PART TWO: Core Competence
#17. Leaders Initiate Continual Change: Unavoidable Realities
#19. Your Personal Communication Audit: Six Reflective Questions
#23. Over and Under Styles of Management: Know Your Team
#28. Leading in a Crisis: When Everything Goes Wrong

PART THREE: Core Capacity
Intro: The Shadow Side of Capacity: Can I? Should I? Must I?
#33. Leading From Any Chair: Second Chair Has Influence
#35. Nine Box Revisited: Performance, Potential, and Personal Drive
#41. Hardwiring New Leadership Habits: Think, Talk, Act, Reflect

Two of his seven leadership multipliers focus on Core Character—the pathway to positive influence. 
   • Character Multiplier #1—Integrity: The personal side of character is what other people think about you.
   • Character Multiplier #2—Respect: The interpersonal side of character is what you think about other people.

Did you know that “people lie more on Monday and Friday than Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday?” Daniels notes research indicating “people lie two to four times a day.” So the author discusses five times when your staff might lie: 1) Lying to land a job, 2) Lying to get ahead, 3) Lying to achieve work-life balance, 4) Lying with feedback, and 5) Lying during the exit interview. He notes that when leaders and managers are not trained in giving effective feedback, they “avoid telling the harsh truth” with direct reports—often because of a “too-nice culture.”

On my first pass through this incredible book, I made 65 notes on the blank pages in the front of the book. I should offer these notes for sale! Here is a baker's dozen of my 65 take-aways:
   • The Humility Audit: 10 questions (p. 67-70)
   • The Ethical Leader Matrix (p. 84)
   • The Iceberg of Ignorance: Problems Known to Executives: just 4% (p. 110)
   • Seven Practices of Great Askers (p. 110-111)
   • The 24-25-51 Rule of Communication (p. 112)
   • Expectation levels: Exceeders, Meeters, Missers (p. 133)
   • Competency gaps: “The Stay Interview” (p. 142)
   • 10 Unavoidable Realities About Change: “Those who get on board early are not usually your best advocates.” (p. 154)
   • “Leaders also understand the why gets fuzzy every thirty days or so.” (p. 154)
   • “In considering the three hiring questions (Chapter 20, “Hiring the Best”), who on your team would you not hire today?” (p. 169)
   • Three decision-making tools in “Deciding as a Team: In Times of Uncertainty” (Chapter 24)
  • The shadow side of the author’s “Activator” strength (p. 228)
  • The Six Development Questions for Daily Reflection (p. 315)

Have you ever read anything on “executive presence?” Me neither! Chapter 30 references a fascinating TED Talk by Ann Curry, author of Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges. This Harvard prof says team members are always asking two questions: “1) Can they trust you, and 2) Can they respect you?” Click here for the TED Talk, “Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are.”
 
How do you engage team members who are not on the senior team—but, if asked, have so much to offer? Dick Daniels suggests you watch the most inspirational TED Talk he’s ever viewed. Click here for “The Transformative Power of Classical Music” by conductor Benjamin Zander and read Chapter 33 to learn how this conductor engaged the unhappy cellist assigned to the “insignificant” 11th chair. And in the TED Talk (LOL!), learn why a CEO wrote Zander after hearing his presentation: “I was so moved. I went back and I transformed my entire company into a one-buttock company!”


Click to view the 20-minute Ted Talk, “The Transformative Power of Classical Music.”

Others agree on the changing role of leaders and managers. Read today’s “Future of Everything” section in the print edition of The Wall Street Journal, “All Together Now: A different model of the boss is emerging—a coach and nurturer, not necessarily a business whiz.” Click here to read the online version (different headline, same article): “Your Next Boss: More Harmony, Less Authority. Prized for being ‘social-emotional experts,’ future managers may spend less time issuing directives and more time collaborating,” by Kathryn Dill (posted Jan. 12, 2021).

NEXT STEPS. Ask a team member to present a bite-sized summary of a chapter at every staff meeting in 2021. And don’t skip the eight questions in the “Final Exam” on page 303, including this poke-in-the-ribs: “Do you know the cost of justifying your executive rudeness in the name of importance and busyness?” Ouch!

To order from Amazon, click on the title for Leadership Core: Character, Competence, Capacity (Leadership Multipliers), by Dick Daniels. (And my thanks to the author for including my endorsement in his book. When I grow up, I hope I can write and think like Dick Daniels!)


 
YOUR WEEKLY STAFF MEETING QUESTIONS:
1) Dick Daniels says that “Delegation is one of the most overlooked skills needed in every leader’s toolbox.” Amen! (Visit the Delegation Bucket.) He suggests some leaders invest one day a month offsite to focus on strategic issues—not operational urgencies. Are our senior leaders allocating appropriate time to strategy or day-to-day minutia?  
2) My pick for the 2013 book-of-the-year was Marshall Goldsmith’s What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: Discover the 20 Workplace Habits You Need to Break. Named the #1 Leadership Thinker in the World, (nice business card!), he also endorsed Leadership Core, by Dick Daniels. You can probably think of an annoying workplace habit a co-worker needs to break. But according to Goldsmith, smart, successful people are pitifully blind to their own annoying habits. So who will help you discern what habits you need to break?
 


A Plan to Save the World From Lousy Presentations!
Insights from Mastering the Management Buckets Workbook 

“Communication is the primary competence of a leader,” writes Dick Daniels. “Just because something was said does not mean it was heard, understood, or agreed with.” 

The core competency in the Printing Bucket (aka the Communication Bucket) reads, “We elevate the power of the written and spoken word and leverage our communication tools to create synergy and alignment between our mission, BHAG, strategic plans and programs.” Here are three resources to help your team members close the competency gaps in their communication skillsets:
 
#1. You’re Got to Be Believed to Be Heard: The Complete Book of Speaking…in Business and in Life, by Bert Decker. (Read my review.) “The most important dimension of communication takes place not at the conscious level, but the unconscious level. We’re talking about trust, believability and likeability—the emotional connection.”

#2. 15 Minutes Including Q&A: A Plan to Save the World From Lousy Presentations, by Joey Asher. (Read my review.) A simpler method for an effective talk, says the author, is to begin, “If I were you, I would ask three questions about this topic.” He adds, “Then write the three questions on a flip chart. Answer the questions. Then stop.” Why might this method work?

#3. How to Deliver a TED Talk: Secrets of the World’s Most Inspiring Presentations, by Jeremey Donovan. (Read my review.) The author researched hundreds of online videos of the most popular 18-minute TED Talks. In just 107 big-print, fast-reading pages, he boils it all down. But it’s not a speaking-tips-for-dummies blah/blah/blah book, it’s much, much better—and rich in detail where it matters.


2021 BIG GIVE-AWAY WINNERS!
Congratulations to the three winners of our random drawing: Laurel Gaard, Kevin Keegan, and Art Snead. And thanks to everyone who submitted their picks for three books they plan to read in 2021. The winners will receive autographed copies of The Advice Trap: Be Humble, Stay Curious & Change the Way You Lead Forever, generously donated by Michael Bungay Stanier. If you didn’t win, you can still order the book by clicking here.

REMINDER: Every year-end, we update the list of books we've reviewed and you can download the lists (PDFs) by clicking on the Book Bucket here.


               


  

JASON PEARSON: UNEXPECTED CREATIVE
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 If you agree with Dick Daniels that “Communication is the primary competence of a leader,” you may be under-investing in your communication strategies and tactics. There’s help! Check in with Jason Pearson at Pearpod Media (branding, digital, print, and video). 

2021 DAILY CALENDAR. LOL!
June 23: “Schedule a meeting about reducing the number of meetings. 
Get everyone together in a room and wonder if there should be meeting-free afternoons, or morning-free days, or meeting-free weeks. Run out of time and decide to continue the discussion in another meeting.” Click to order this 2021 Day-to-Day Calendar.

MORE RESOURCES:
• Pails in Comparison Blog
• Subscribe: Your Weekly Staff Meeting eNews
• John Pearson’s book reviews on Amazon
• Management Buckets website
• Governance of Christ-Centered Organizations Blog


2021 BOARD MEETINGS
What will 2021 look like in your boardroom or on Zoom meetings? To avoid “bringing our delightful dysfunctions into every new board experience,” here are helpful “Indexes to Inspiration”—links to more than 200 resources to be leveraged by your board’s “Leaders Are Readers Champion.” Click here.

Note: This is the NEW location for John Pearson's Buckets Blog. Slowly (!), the previous 650+ blogs posted (between 2006 and 2025) will gradually populate this blogsite, along with new book reviews each month

Experiencing God

 

Your Weekly Staff Meeting | John Pearson Associates
2021 BOOK-OF-THE-YEAR
(2 books for 2021!)

Issue No. 496 of Your Weekly Staff Meeting (Dec. 1, 2021) 
highlights an expanded 2021 edition of Henry Blackaby’s classic, Experiencing God. And this reminder: click here to download free resources from the 20 management buckets (core competencies), and click here for the Mastering Mistake-Making webpage. (See Mistake #21 below.)


Henry Blackaby: “If Balaam lived in our formula-driven day, perhaps he would have written a book, Donkeys for Dummies…”


Donkeys for Dummies!

I predicted in January 2021, “I’m out on a limb here, but not really. Leadership Core: Character, Competence, Capacity will likely be my 2021 book-of-the-year. It will take a phenomenal book to jostle this pick off its perch.”

Did I speak too soon? Yikes! From May to December, I’ve read about one chapter every weekend from Experiencing God (2021 Edition): Knowing and Doing the Will of God, by Henry Blackaby, Richard Blackaby, and Claude King. This powerful/powerful update of the classic book/workbook was published in May 2021 with seven new chapters and dozens of memorable stories that you’ll share with families and friends. (I shared one story around our Thanksgiving table last week.)

It's likely you spent time in the Experiencing God workbook years ago. Ditto. But…wow. This new edition (now with Henry Blackaby’s son, Richard, as the third co-author) is fresh, convicting, and so, so insightful. (How did I miss these truths on my first read-through?)

In more than 500 book reviews, I’ve featured only a handful of books that required two reviews. This book also requires two reviews, maybe three. Here’s Part 1 of 2:

FOUR MEMORABLE INSIGHTS (Part 1 of 2)
Note: Click here to read my second review, Part 2 of 2, at the Pails in Comparison blog. Plus view the powerful video from an inmate at Angola Prison!

INSIGHT #1: The Two-Word Answer! Henry Blackaby shares the story of a couple who heard God direct them to take early retirement and serve overseas. Instead, they delayed until all their ducks were in a row and their dream home was built. But then… “a violent tornado swept right over their house, tearing it to splinters and leaving only rubble.” They asked Blackaby, “What do you think we should do?”

Blackaby’s two-word response: “OBEY IMMEDIATELY!”

INSIGHT #2: Mistakes! Blackaby writes, “Nowhere in the Bible does God promise to stop us from making mistakes!” He lists four inappropriate ways for discerning God’s voice. (Even well-meaning people make these mistakes! Yikes!) These are serious mistakes—because people are misunderstanding what the Bible teaches. They include:
1) Asking for a miraculous sign
2) Seeking a method
3) The “name it and claim it” method
4) Open and closed doors

On seeking a method, Blackaby comments, “Balaam heard God speak through a donkey even though he had never heard God talk through a donkey before. If Balaam lived in our formula-driven day, perhaps he would have written a book, Donkeys for Dummies, so people could discern when God was speaking to them through a donkey, too!”

INSIGHT #3: “See Where God Is Working!” When Henry Blackaby was a pastor, the church was located near a college campus. “One Sunday, I pulled our students together and said, ‘This week I want you to go to the campus and watch to see where God is working. If God shows you where He is working, immediately join Him!” (He explained that the Bible teaches that “people don’t ask questions about spiritual matters unless God is at work in their lives.”)

He writes, “That Sunday, I told the students, ‘If during the course of your day attending class, someone starts asking you spiritual questions, what else you may have planned, don’t do it. Cancel what you had planned and spend time with that individual to discover what God is doing.’ That week our students went onto the campus, watching to see where God was at work so they could join Him.”

What happened? “On Wednesday, one of our female students excitedly reported, ‘Pastor, a girl who had been in classes with me for two years approached me after class today. She said, ‘I think you might be a Christian. I need to talk to you.’ I remembered what you said. I had a class in a few minutes, but I skipped it. We went to the cafeteria to talk. She said, ‘Eleven of us girls in the dorm have been studying the Bible, and none of us are Christians. Do you know someone who can lead us in a Bible study?’”

Blackaby notes, “As a result of that contact, we started three Bible study groups in the women’s dorms and two in the men’s. For almost two years we had tried to do something for God and failed. Then for three days we looked to see where God was working, and what a difference that made!”

The authors remind readers not to look for a formula to experience God. Instead, they articulate seven key principles (realities) across the 26 short chapters—with dozens of memorable stories. The seven realities:

• Reality 1: "God is always at work around you.
• Reality 2: God pursues a continuing love relationship with you that is real and personal.
• Reality 3: God invites you to become involved with Him in His work.
• Reality 4: God speaks by the Holy Spirit through the Bible, prayer, circumstances, and the church to reveal Himself, His purposes, and His ways.
• Reality 5: God’s invitation for you to work with Him always leads you to a crisis of belief that requires faith and action.
• Reality 6: You must make major adjustments in your life to join God in what He is doing.
• Reality 7: You come to know God by experience as you obey Him and He accomplishes His work through you.”

INSIGHT #4: “Please Cancel My Request!” In Mark 2, when the four entrepreneurial friends of the paraplegic man brought their friend to Jesus for healing, Jesus—instead—forgave the man’s sins. Meditating on that passage prompted Blackaby to weep and pray, “O God, if I ever give You a request and You have more to give me than I am asking, please cancel my request!”

Read this gem—slowly—and the truths will seriously whack you. Example: “Focusing on identifying [spiritual] gifts instead of determining what God’s assignment is can also be severely limiting for believers who base their future usefulness for God only on their past effectiveness.” Blackaby adds, “The common approach to spiritual gifts can easily become self-centered rather than God-centered.” Stay tuned for more whacks (Part 2 of 2) in a future issue.

To order from Amazon, click on the title for Experiencing God (2021 Edition): Knowing and Doing the Will of God, by Henry Blackaby, Richard Blackaby, and Claude King. Are you a listener? Listen to the book on Libro.fm (11 hours, 3 minutes).



YOUR WEEKLY STAFF MEETING QUESTIONS:
1) “When God speaks, it is important to write it down,” says Henry Blackaby. That’s from my short 2008 review of Experiencing God (click here). Why might you find value in reading an updated and expanded version of a book you’ve already read—and this time, making notes as you read (when God speaks).
 2) Glub. Glub. Glub? Henry Blackaby writes, “The affirmation comes after the obedience.” He notes: “When Jesus invited Peter to get out of the boat to walk on the water, He did not assure Peter he would stay afloat! The Lord simply said, ‘Come!’ (Matt. 14:28). Peter wouldn’t know he could walk on the water until he took his first step.” This past year or two, what have you learned about taking the first step?
 

John’s “I’m trying” efforts were fruitless. “In trying to honor God as a college student, I wanted the fruits of the spirit to be evident in my life. But I focused on the fruits—instead of the spirit.” (See Mistake #21 in Mastering Mistake-Making.)

Mistake #21 of 25: Striving Really Hard to Walk With God
Insights from Mastering Mistake-Making: My 25 Memorable Mistakes—And What I Learned

John’s Mistake #21: “’I can do this by trying harder’ was my failed strategy. ‘Just be more disciplined.’ I missed the simplicity of John 15—being connected to the Vine.”

Read this chapter to discover what John learned during his college days about the difference between human striving versus simply enjoying a relationship with the God of the Universe! And…learn what happened when he violated that semester’s evangelism training mandate, “Never say ‘TURN OR BURN!’”

For Mistake #21, John recommends two resources from Cru:
• Have You Heard of the Four Spiritual Laws?*
• Have You Made the Wonderful Discovery of the Spirit-Filled Life?*  
*See bulk pricing from Cru Press.


Click here to view the list of all 25 mistakes and read the introduction to Mastering Mistake-Making. To order this book from Amazon, click on the title for Mastering Mistake-Making: My 25 Memorable Mistakes—And What I Learned (10 Minutes for Lifelong Learning Workbook), by John Pearson with Jason Pearson.


For supplementary resources, click on John's  "Bucket" book and workbook below:
  
            


 

JASON PEARSON: UNEXPECTED CREATIVE
.
 Henry Blackaby suggests you conduct a personal inventory and ask, “’What am I presently doing that can only be explained by God’s activity in my life?’ If you cannot think of anything, spend time with the Lord and ask Him why.” Need help conducting both personal and organizational inventories? Contact Pearpod Media (Design, Digital, Marketing, Social).

NEXT ISSUE!

MISTAKE #22: 
Checking the Box, But Missing the Message. 
Discipline is important—unless it displaces the purpose.
Order from Amazon. 

MORE RESOURCES:
• Pails in Comparison Blog
• Subscribe: Your Weekly Staff Meeting eNews
• John Pearson’s book reviews on Amazon
• Management Buckets website
• Governance of Christ-Centered Organizations Blog



GIVE BOOKS THIS CHRISTMAS! 
This Christmas, give Amazon gift cards to team members and family and point them to John Pearson's Buckets Blog (this website).

“When I get a little money, I buy books; and if any is left, I buy food and clothes.” (Desiderius Erasmus) 

Note: This is the NEW location for John Pearson's Buckets Blog. Slowly (!), the previous 650+ blogs posted (between 2006 and 2025) will gradually populate this blogsite, along with new book reviews each month

Nonprofit Sustainability

  Issue No. 257 of  Your Weekly Staff Meeting  (Sept. 30, 2012) introduces a brilliant matrix on nonprofit sustainability—and I predict you...