View this 60 Minutes snippet (2014) featuring sports legend James Brown's interview with Greg Harden, Michigan's Executive Director of Athletic Counseling. Click here to view the 4-minute video and learn why Brown snagged a copy of Harden's syllabus on self-defeating attitudes!
37 Powerful Coaching Topics!Apparently, my new hobby is editing book titles—and suggesting to authors and publishers several alternative attention-grabbing titles. (Where would that place me on the chutzpah scoreboard?) So here is this week’s book—already a
Wall Street Journal bestseller:
To be clear, I absolutely love this book. I can’t stop talking about it. It’s already on my Top-10 List of 2023 books. But, if the publisher had asked me to suggest book titles, I might have suggested these zingers from Chapters 18, 21, 22, and 30:
• It’s Perfectly Okay Not to Be Perfect!
• You Only Get One-Tenth of a Second to Feel Bad!
• 37 Powerful Topics for One-on-One Coaching
• SWOT Yourself!
• Say Thank You (And Then Shut Your Mouth!)With 37 short chapters, this is a no-brainer resource for the next 37 weeks of your weekly staff meetings. I couldn’t find any fluff in any of the 37 relevant topics. Your coworkers and direct reports will love this book too. Greg Harden’s insights will enrich your leadership and your one-on-one coaching. (If you’re a wanna-be author, you’ll borrow the book’s brilliant format.)
Greg Harden writes, “I can’t teach Tom Brady how to throw the ball. I can’t teach Desmond Howard how to catch the ball. I can’t teach Michael Phelps how to do a perfect flip turn.
All I can do is teach you how to become the world’s greatest expert on one subject: yourself.”
“If you train yourself to give 100 percent, 100 percent of the time, to the stuff you
hate, how phenomenal are you going to be when you get to the stuff you
love?” He adds,
“The greatest competition you’re ever going to face is yourself.”For more than 30 years, Greg Harden has built champions as Executive Director of Athletic Counseling at the University of Michigan. (See his
60 Minutes interview with sportscaster James Brown who called Harden “Michigan’s Secret Weapon.”) In addition to inspiring Tom Brady, Desmond Howard, Charles Woodson, and others, he has counseled over 400 other student athletes who have gone on to professional careers in four major sports.
But…you’re not an athlete? No problem. This book on “How to Control the Controllables and Thrive” will become your go-to resource for your own gut-checks and for inspiring family, friends, and co-workers to step up.
By the way, did you know that Tom Brady (who wrote the book’s foreword) was not drafted by the New England Patriots until the NFL’s sixth round? (He was the 199th pick!) Yet, in his 23 seasons in the NFL, Brady won a record seven Super Bowl titles, three NFL MVP awards, and a record five Super Bowl MVPs. The author’s commentary on Brady is noteworthy. He came to Harden’s office for help. He writes,
“This may be the perfect spot to let you know that athletes who have asked for help tend to have better outcomes than those who are required to meet with me.”Here are 7 memorable principles
from this extraordinary book:#1. There Is No “Geographical Cure.” Heisman winner Desmond Howard had been at the University of Michigan for a year and half and his football dreams were not coming true. Harden notes,
“Desmond was starting to think that maybe it was time for the old ‘geographical cure.’ You know, the belief that if you go to another team (or another place to work, another city to live in), everything will suddenly turn out right. Even though you’ve changed
nothing else about yourself, just packing up and moving will somehow magically fix everything.”
#2. The Value of a Short Memory. Harden hammers home his “one-tenth of a second” principle. “It’s the one trait so many of the greatest athletes I’ve ever known have in common: a short memory. My shot doesn’t go in. I drop the ball. I miss the wide-open net. I give myself
one-tenth of a second to feel bad, and then I keep playing.”
He adds, “It works the other way, too. The ball goes in, I catch the pass, I score the goal. Now I’ve got
one-tenth of a second to feel great about it before I get back to the game.” Harden says that to become a peak performer, “you have to retrain, reprogram, re-engineer yourself not to obsess over
‘triumph and disaster’ (to quote Rudyard Kipling) to ‘treat those two impostors just the same.’”
Learn the essence of author Greg Harden's coaching process by listening to Tom Brady (the NFL's G.O.A.T.) describe Harden's approach with him at the University of Michigan. Click here to view this 7-minute NFL Film (2016), "Inside the Mind of Tom Brady."#3. Say Thank You (And Then Shut Your Mouth!). The author observes, “…to this day,
I am amazed at the general human inability to accept a compliment. In fact, I’ve noticed that the better you are at giving compliments to others, the worse you are at accepting them for yourself.”
This is great advice! I tried it last week when Amazon’s Alexa asked if I wanted to reorder my
favorite oatmeal.
•
Me: “Yes! Thank you!”
•
Alexa: “You’re so welcome. Your kindness really gives me a charge!”
•
Me: (I shut up as Greg Harden urges! LOL!)
#4. Beware the Common Denominator of Your Bad Bosses! The book includes two jammed-packed chapters on interviewing: Chapter 33, “When You’re Interviewing Someone, Let Them Tell You Who They Are,” and Chapter 34, “When You’re Being Interviewed, Turn It Around!”
Harden lists his best interviewing techniques: “panel interviews, role-plays, small group discussions, behavioral interviews, and formal presentations. In each of these formats, you’re creating a more dynamic, real-life scenario, and you can discover a great deal more about your candidates.”
When you’re interviewing for a position, Harden warns not to come across as the person who’s been cursed by a series of bosses who are jerks. “…I guarantee you, you just lost the job—
because the common denominator in all of your bad situations was you.”#5. If You Don’t Golf, Skip Chapter 35! The humor oozes out of dozens of chapters, especially Chapter 35: “If You Happen to Be a Golfer…then may God have mercy on your soul. Also keep reading. If you don’t golf, be thankful and skip this chapter.” (But really, don’t skip this chapter.) Harden notes,
“Of all the sports I’ve ever played, I think golf may be the best metaphor for life.”This reminded me of the golf books I’ve reviewed, including this 2023 bestseller,
Feherty: The Remarkably Funny and Tragic Journey of Golf's David Feherty, by John Feinstein. Greg Harden began his career as a clinical therapist at a drug and alcohol rehabilitation center.
I wonder if Feherty would have avoided his numerous missteps if he had met Greg Harden early on.#6. “I Had to Forgive My Father for Not Being Perfect.” Whew! Harden is very transparent and you’ll appreciate Chapter 7, “The Demon on the Left Shoulder (Self-Defeating Attitudes and Behaviors)” and Chapter 8, “The Angel on Your Right Shoulder (Self-Supporting Attitudes and Behaviors).”
You’ll reference these chapters frequently. Harden muses, “Why can’t I give up fear and self-doubt for Lent?” His insights on “letting go of yesterday’s baggage” (his assignment and exercise for a volleyball player) are powerful. He quotes Eleanor Roosevelt:
“No one can make you feel inferior
without your permission.”
Chapter 7 includes a
convicting list of 29 self-defeating attitudes and behaviors that popped out during his workshops, including: blaming others, being revengeful, spreading rumors, being arrogant, and not sharing your true feelings. He adds a 30th behavior: addiction.
#7. Three Specific Things I Will STOP Doing. A two-page worksheet,
“My Purpose, My Goals, My SDABs and SSABs,” features a helpful tool for coaching and mentoring and includes these fill-in-the-blanks prompts:
• My Purpose in Life (50 words or less)
• What would success look like for me?
• My Goals (measurable, actionable goals that will show progress toward success)
• Self-defeating attitudes and behaviors
(SDABs) holding me back from reaching my goals (list 3)
--Three specific things I will STOP doing
• Self-supporting attitudes and behaviors
(SSABs) that I want to cultivate in my life (list 3)
--Three specific things I will START doing
THERE’S MORE. I gotta stop here, but don’t miss these highlights:
•
Public Speaking: Why you should memorize the first two minutes of your talk.
•
11 Testimonials: Powerful “testimonials” from 11 men and women, including Desmond Howard and Steve Hamilton.
•
Two Exercises: When counseling a very unhappy volleyball player, how two exercises helped her bounce back.
•
Faith-based, Solution-focused: The poignant song,
Agape, written and sung by pro hockey player Cooper Marody as a memorial to his teammate, Colby Cave.
Note: Kleenex alert! (Read why the author admires Marody's lifestyle: "faith-based, solution-focused.")
•
SWOT Worksheet: How to conduct your own self-assessment on Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats.
•
Chapter 7: Why Harden thought of titling this chapter, “The Funnest Damn Chapter in the Whole Book!”
To order from Amazon, click on the title for
Stay Sane in an Insane World: How to Control the Controllables and Thrive, by Greg Harden with Steve Hamilton. Listen on
Libro (5 hours, 39 minutes). And thanks to the publisher for sending me a review copy.
2026 Update: Greg Harden (1949-2024) was honored by the University of Michigan and numerous athletes in this
special tribute.
YOUR WEEKLY STAFF MEETING QUESTIONS:1) Greg Harden writes, “If you make it your mindset, your vision of who you are, that you’re going to make it a habit to give 100 percent, 100 percent of the time, in everything you do—if you make that your norm, your base level, your default mode—
then on your absolutely worst day, even when you slip, you’re still going to be better than the average person on their BEST day.”
What would it look like for you to give 100 percent, 100 percent of the time—in your current role at work?
2) And speaking of
worst days, here's my review of John Lynch's classic,
On My Worst Day: Cheesecake, Evil, Sandy Koufax and Jesus.
Mastering 100 Must-Read Books
Part 7: Contrarian Thinkers
Book #45 of 100: Balancing Life's DemandsFor your team meeting this week, inspire a team member to lead your “10 Minutes for Lifelong Learning” session by featuring Book #45 in
Mastering 100 Must-Read Books.
Balancing Life's Demands:
A New Perspective on Priorities
by J. Grant Howard
Books #41 through #45 spotlight five unique authors I’ve labeled
“Contrarian Thinkers.” Most books, and far too many preachers, will give you the well-worn dribble about balancing priorities: God is first. Family is second. Church is third. Your career is fourth. Bible scholar J. Grant Howard disagreed and wrote that a list of sequential priorities makes absolutely no sense.
•
Read my review.
• Order from
Amazon:
Balancing Life's Demands •
Download the 100 Must-Read Books list (from John and Jason Pearson).
Dr. Howard (1929-2004) wrote, “It can’t be intelligently explained. It can’t be easily understood. It can’t be logically lived out.” He added,
“I am convinced that the existing sequential model is not only impractical it is unbiblical.”Instead, Howard believed that Matthew 22:34-40 says we have two relationships and responsibilities—equal in importance—God and our neighbor. With God at the center circle of his helpful diagram, a second circle of self surrounds God and then a third circle with five segments—work, world, government, church and family—make up the outer concentric circle.
“The Bible simply does not present the Christian’s commitments on some scale or list,” wrote Howard. “It does not give them to us as sequential priorities. We don’t do them all at the same time (though there are many areas of overlap), but we need to do them all.”
PEARPOD | TELLING YOUR STORY. Chapter 13 in Greg Harden’s book is a must-read: “Your Sport Is What You Do, Not Who You Are.” As you market and promote your organization’s visionary leaders—what role do you have in ensuring that your leaders are living healthy God-honoring lives? Reminder: “Your mission is what you do—not who you are.” Need ideas? Contact Jason Pearson at Pearpod (Design, Digital, Marketing, Social).
Issue No. 658 of Your Weekly Staff Meeting (Oct. 3, 2025) features a new book coming Oct. 7—describing the four seasons of a CEO. The “...
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