features a new book that urges you to be goal agnostic and focus on Little P purpose. Contrarian! Plus,
for my 2024 Top-10 Books and Book-of-the-Year. And
for four lists of books reviewed from 2006 to 2024. Plus, find more book reviews at
Big P Purpose and Little P Purpose
In an ocean of books about “purpose,” do we really need yet one more expert’s three-points-and-a-poem platitudes?
Trust me—last week I would have agreed with you. But then…a colleague urged me to read this book—and I did a 180. Read why you’ll recommend this gem to colleagues, your kids and grandkids, and the people you’re coaching.
10 INSIGHTS:#1. RELIEVED AND MORTIFIED! When the author, Jordan Grumet, a physician, hospice care expert, and storyteller, realized that becoming financially independent (
see his previous book) was not the end game, he experienced an epiphany about “community.” He writes:
“…I realized immediately that I felt closer to my fellow bloggers and writers within minutes than a few of my doctor 'friends' who I had known for more than a decade.
I was both relieved and mortified. Relieved that there wasn't something wrong with me and mortified that I had been hiding all these years.”
He adds, “Years later, I am living a life that I could have never imagined while being an actively practicing physician.” And get this:
“I am happier today than at any other time in my life—and none of it cost a single cent.”#2. “IT’S STRESSING ME OUT!” After a weekend seminar in Julian, Calif., where he spoke on “building financial independence and living a regret-free life,” Dr. Grumet was accosted by a woman.
“Her upper lip was curled into a snarl. Somehow my talk had gotten her into such a lather that she wasn't going to pass up the opportunity to confront me in person. I was shocked: The purpose of the talk was to help people. Shrinking back, I braced myself. As she opened her mouth to speak, I had no idea what she was about to say.
“I’m so sick of people telling me to find my purpose. I don’t know my purpose and it’s stressing me out!” (As he listened more intentionally in the months that followed, he heard the same message from others.) “Curious, I dug into the data. It turns out that even though having a sense of purpose can increase lifespan, health, and happiness,
it is also associated with anxiety in over 91% of people at some point in their lives. I was dumbfounded. How can we explain this paradox?”
#3. CRACKING THE CODE. Gratefully, Dr. Grumet is a gifted storyteller and this is not a self-focused “Here’s How I Did It” book. With dozens of real-life stories about people of all ages and backgrounds, we meet Sarah. Her story weaves in and out of many chapters to explain his big idea:
Big P purpose and Little P purpose. The author promises: “For most people, purpose has become a kind of indecipherable code, sealing away true fulfillment and lasting happiness.
But the purpose code is one that can be cracked. And anyone can do it. This book will show you how.”
#4. THE FALLACY OF “BIG P” PURPOSE. Are you big on BHAGs? Warning—says the author. “I thought that the
bigger the purpose, the more gratifying it would be to pursue it. It took many years and quite a bit of emotional heartache to reach the conclusion that I hope to convince you of now:
when it comes to purpose, bigger is not better."#5. THE JOYS OF “LITTLE P” PURPOSE. Dr. Grumet describes “Little P purpose” as “a process-oriented purpose that is impossible to fail. It is associated with health, longevity, and happiness.” He adds, “Little P purpose doesn't deny or detract from the joy of setting and achieving goals, it just doesn't depend on them. This type of purpose is concerned much more with the process involved and much less with the product. Those who enjoy the benefits of little P purpose immediately win because they enjoy doing an activity regardless of whether anything comes of it.”
Read more on why “Little P purpose espouses the idea of
incremental change.” Dr. Grumet details the data and the anecdotes from his ongoing hospice care practice.
“The ultimate outcome of focusing on little P purpose is that people have fewer regrets when they die.” And another warning—he is a gifted debater! He writes,
“The skeptic in you is undoubtedly questioning my theory.” He applauds that—but then through a series of chapters and exercises, I found myself agreeing. “This makes sense, John. Keep reading!”
Yikes! At Paradigm Community, San Clemente, Calif., on the first Sunday of the new year, every attendee received a 100-centimeter disposable paper tape measure. The speaker, Jim Glynn, instructed us to estimate our age at death—and then (gulp!) tear the tape off at that number. Next, he asked us to tear the rest of the tape off at our current age. Some of us had very short tapes (!), but we looked longingly at those in their teens, 20s, and 30s.
Glynn’s message, “Focus for the Future,” was a stark reminder about purpose. When we exited the church service, each person received a list of 25 Bible verses from Glynn’s message. My remaining “centimeters” are now taped to my home office wall with this verse from Psalm 90:12, “Teach us to number our days…”
#6. AGNOSTIC GOALS. Chapter 6, “The Climb,” is a memorable metaphor and useful process for cultivating and enjoying your Little P purpose. We learn more about Sarah’s angst over her current job and lack of purpose—yet the joy she finds in editing humorous stories. She also loves horses. So she starts her “climb” with some guidelines from Dr. Grumet:
“There are rules on how to participate in a healthy climb. These rules will remind you of the properties that define little P purpose.
First, your climb should never be goal oriented—it should be goal agnostic. If all you can concentrate on is the top of the mountain, you are bound to falter.”
#7. THE ART OF SUBTRACTION. Grumet suggests you grab an extra-sharp pencil and get ready to slash, slash, slash! “The art of subtraction is the process of removing things from your life that no longer serve you.”
(LOL! I did not read this paragraph to my wife!)He adds, “I sat down with a pen and pad of paper one day and wrote down all my rules and responsibilities as a physician. I included ever job description I had, and every title I carried.” Then he slashed/slashed/slashed. When he finished, after several days, “…the paper was totally filled with haphazard slashes except for one lonesome corner with a barely readable entry.
Hospice.”
His epiphany: “Suddenly my sense of loss no longer felt so great.
I would do hospice work no matter what I was paid for it. I would do it for free. I would do it because it felt like part of the purpose I was put on Earth to fulfill. Not a big audacious purpose that would change the world, but little daily activities that made me feel connected to my own abilities as well as my hospice team, and those patients that were so badly in need of help.
I found my anchor.” (Read more in Chapter 3, “You Can’t Find What Isn’t Lost.”)
#8. LIFE REVIEWS. Dr. Grumet describes a “life review” process that is often used in hospice care. (Chapter 3 includes 40 questions—plus “A Purpose Prescription: Performing a Work Audit.” And note: each chapter concludes with “A Purpose Prescription” on the chapter topics—see #9.)
#9. END-OF-CHAPTER AUDIT QUESTIONS. Each chapter includes “A Purpose Prescription” audit—with numerous convicting questions for a social media, a home audit, a personal narrative audit, a time audit, a community audit (all the various communities you are part of or want to join), a generational audit, and a regret audit.
Be honest now—are you gutsy enough to read this book and look in the mirror?#10. YEARS OF SOUL-SUCKING TASKS. Dr. Grumet, in finding his “anchor”—now helps others, like Sarah, to refresh their lives and to find “the one part of her job that she truly loved throughout all those years of soul-sucking tasks.” How?
“…recalling the passions of your childhood is a quick way to remind yourself of what lights you up.” He adds, “Parents tell kids that they should become doctors or lawyers, not journalists who love horses and like to edit humorous stories.”
MY FAVORITE ONE-LINERS:• “We all want to be unique, just like everyone else.”
• “According to
Zippia, at least 30% of people admit to lying, or at least ‘bending the truth,’ on their resume.”
• “As mentioned in previous chapters,
I have been very clear about the toxicity of goals.”• On Dr. Grumet’s podcast: “I would do this even if no one listened. Even if I had zero downloads per year.”
• Note: Dr. Grumet’s take on “happiness” is contrarian, yet:
“My happiness has made me a better father and husband. I am also a better friend.”• “I also reinvigorated my love of reading. Not reading that was focused or goal driven, but frivolous, joyful reading.” (My recommendation below:
Gilead.)
Opps! I had planned for shorter reviews in 2025, but I can’t help myself. I hope you’ve figured it out: this is an important book.
TO ORDER FROM AMAZON, click on the title for
The Purpose Code: How to Unlock Meaning, Maximize Happiness, and Leave a Lasting Legacy, by Jordan Grumet, MD. And thanks to the publisher for sending me a review copy.
YOUR WEEKLY STAFF MEETING QUESTIONS:1) This week a friend, Scott Anderson, shared some insights on "community" (see above) at a Tuesday morning prayer group. He referenced Henri Nouwen's short book of talks and articles,
Community. "...Henri describes how following Jesus involves the spiritual practice of creating space for God through solitude, community, and ministry." I bought the book!
How does your team create space for community for each person?2) Should you read
The Purpose Code every year? My friend and mentor,
George Duff (1931-2023) re-read Peter Drucker’s
The Effective Executive every year.
Or…should you read a different book on purpose every year? What titles on “purpose” are on your resource bookshelves at work? (You do have a resource bookcase, right?) Visit
Pails in Comparison Blog (PIC #92) for
a short list of books on “purpose.”
SECOND READS: Fresh Solutions From Classic BooksYou have changed—and your problems have changed—since you read this the first time!Book #5 of 99: GileadFor your team meeting this week, inspire a team member to lead your “10 Minutes for Lifelong Learning” session by featuring Book #5 of 99 in our new series, “Second Reads.” The big idea:
REREAD TO LEAD! Discover how your favorite books and niche chapters still have more to teach you and the people you’re coaching and mentoring.
Gilead: A Novel
by Marilynne Robinson
(Farrar, Straus and Giroux, Nov. 4, 2004, 256 pages)
I titled my first review of
Gilead, “Slow Down for Excellence.” Like a Rembrandt or a Gauguin, or an exquisite gourmet dinner, you will savor the writing, the language, the nuances and the hidden humor in this week’s masterpiece novel,
Gilead.
•
Read my original review (Oct. 1, 2007).
• Order from
Amazon.
• Listen on
Libro (8 hours, 53 minutes).
• Management Bucket #5 of 20:
The Book BucketMy SECOND READ Insights/Ideas: I missed this brilliant idea the first time I read this. Last week, I was reminded of this Pulitzer Prize-winning book when
The Wall Street Journal’s weekly column, “
Five Best,” spotlighted
Gilead and four other “epistolary narratives.” Jennifer Acker writes a brief summary about the third-generation preacher John Ames, born in 1880, who “suffers from a heart condition and must say goodbye to this world.”
The book is written “as a long, elegiac letter to the preacher’s 7-year-old son.”
But yikes! When I read this in 2007, I was a young 61. Back then, I pictured Pastor Ames as very old.
Very old! (His first wife had died and his much younger wife had given him a son.)
But Marilynne Robinson places him in 1956 at 76 years-old.
Yikes again. Here in 2025, I’m now older than this aging and frail pastor! So I’m reading
Gilead again to enjoy the extraordinary writing—but also to discern what thoughts I could or should leave behind for my son, daughter-in-law, and five grandkids—when I “must say goodbye.”
Yikes.
CLICK HERE FOR BOOKS BY JOHN
Issue No. 660 of Your Weekly Staff Meeting (Oct. 18, 2025) highlights a book urging you to choose the opposite like George Costanza did...
Issue No. 658 of Your Weekly Staff Meeting (Oct. 3, 2025) features a new book coming Oct. 7—describing the four seasons of a CEO. The “...
No comments:
Post a Comment